We tried opening it, but it was jammed. Then my cousin saw that it was open about an inch. We pushed on it together and it flew open. I don’t know why but we all started screaming and ran out into the yard. I couldn’t believe we actually did that. We were just going to go home, but then we thought that we would be wondering forever what would have happened if we hadn’t gone in there, so we went back. We were soooo scared. The first room looked like a kitchen, and it had one of those really old stoves, the kind that sits on the ground with a black pipe going through the ceiling. That was my first indication that this house could have been, like, a hundred years old. The floor was starting to creak, which made me say out loud that what if it gave out and we fell down into the cellar??? That made my cousin almost start to cry but we calmed him down. We walked cautiously through the house.

There were a lot of small rooms. We didn’t dare go down to the cellar. The front door was locked, and bolted and nailed down with boards, as were all of the windows. Did I mention that during this whole thing, we were all REALLY REALLY scared?? Well, we were just about to head back, when my brother saw...a staircase. An old, brown, winding one. OH MY GOD. We discussed whether or not to go up (my brother was the only one who would, but I didn’t want him up there alone with the ghosts!) He said he would only go up a few steps to see if he could see anything up there, so we let him.

And that’s as far as he got. He was on about the 5th step, when we heard a horrible crashing sound from the kitchen. We all started screaming, and ran out of there fast. We didn’t bother to shut the door - which was probably our first mistake. We ran back to my aunt’s house, past the cemetery. At the time, the only person we told about this, was my aunt. She’s cool, and we knew she wouldn’t tell anyone what we did.

Well, my brother and I eventually had to go home, but this is where it gets weird!! The next day, my mom took us back to my aunt’s (my other cousin was going back home to Chicago the next day, and we wanted to see her again before she left). As we drove past the cemetery, I saw something really creepy. There were some men working there, and it looked like they were DIGGING A GRAVE. Now, I don’t know if they still used that cemetery, I always thought it was too old to be burying new people there, but we were wondering - were they burying something - or digging something up?

We told my aunt about it right away, and she said that there had been a FIRE in the cemetery the night before. Now this was too weird. All of this stuff happened the day after we went there. There were now “no trespassing” signs all over the yard, which meant - someone saw us in there. We don’t know who, but all I kept thinking was, what would have happened if my brother had gone
upstairs? I guess we owe our lives to that thing that fell in the kitchen!

“May we see the new baby?” one asked.

“Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Thirty minutes had passed and another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet,” said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed they asked again, “May we see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied the mother.

Growing very impatient they asked, “Well, when CAN we see the baby?”

“WHEN IT CRIES!” she told them.

“WHEN IT CRIES??” they demanded. “Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??”

“BECAUSE, I forgot where I put it...”

Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, Laloo’s voice was heard answering, ‘Hello Raabri, this is meeee...’

‘Lalooji,’ she answered. I just have to know if you’re happy there in the after life. What’s it like there?’

‘Ooooooh, it’s much more beautiful here than I ever imagined,’ Laloo answered.

‘The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected and above all there is no scam. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over.’

‘Thank God, you made it to heaven,’ his Raabri cried.

‘Heaven?’ he answered. ‘What heaven? I’m a buffalo in Punjab.’

Sardar: ‘I want a very strong mirror’.
Shop keeper: ‘Try this one sir!Its just Rs.1000/-’

Sardar: ‘Is it really that strong?’
Shop keeper: ‘Yes sir. If u want to know, you can throw this mirror from 100 storeyed building. This mirror does not breaks upto 99 floors sir!!’

Sardar: ‘Wah! bahuth badiya hai!!’
He pays the shop keeper and leaves with that mirror!!

Then, big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says, ‘Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.’

‘No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me.

When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing.

I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.’

‘I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar.

And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.’

‘I’m sorry,’ said the receptionist, ‘we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.’

Peter said, ‘But I could be dead by then!’

Receptionist replied, ‘No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment. ‘

Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.

Voice: Doctor Sahab! Aab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai